I'm No Pulitzer Prize Winner, but..

When I began school this semester, I made some assumptions about my classes; based on previous experience, I figured I would not like either of my writing classes. As it turns out, I was wrong--as I usually am, and have actually enjoyed my two writing classes, much to my surprise (I don't consider myself capable of writing intriguing, substantial works beyond a purely academic piece). In my Personal Essay class, we work on what our teacher refers to as creative nonfiction. For some reason, I can't recall ever having read any personal essays or memoirs, the sungenres of creative nonfiction, and the idea of nonfiction being creative seemed kind of contradictory to me: how can the truth be creative? The truth is messy, dramatic and often boring. But when I read some of the sample memoirs in our book, Writing True, I was gone; the truth, written creatively, is so interesting. This is important because I have always thought that everyone has a story to tell, and I love listening to people's stories. Furthermore, I have always wanted to write the story of my family, but every time I have tried to write a true story in a creative writing setting, my instructor has told me that the truthful details in my stories were bogging them down. I had no idea there was a whole genre of writing specific to telling one's own story. When I thought about writing my own memoir or personal essay, though, I never thought I could write one that would be anywhere near as vivid and emotional and intriguing as the ones I had read in my book.
The piece I chose to submit for the National Day on Writing is a memoir that I wrote for this class. The assignment was to write about a memory from before I turned eighteen. I chose the memory from the day my mom told me and my sisters that she was divorcing my stepdad. The funny thing is that I haven't really done any writing about my life--not like this. Aside from the stories that I tried to write about my family in my creative class which were unsuccessful, I haven't ever done any personal, very therapeutic writing. Personal essays are all about what the writer learns from the writing experience: a recognition or epiphany. Oddly enough, though I haven't done any writing about my life in the past, the idea of the memoir just clicked. I have never writtten anything that actually helped me come to a realization about my life like this memoir did, but I guess that's what personal essays are all about.
I don't consider myself a great writer. I am not gifted like those people who are meant to use their words to impact others. But when my classmates read the memoir in our peer review group, it actually brought tears to one girl's eyes and rendered the others speechless. I looked at them, completely unaware that my own experience could have any effect on someone else; sure, the memoir was a nice outlet for me, but I didn't know that it could actually affect someone else so powerfully (for better or worse). That's probably the biggest reason I chose this piece to submit: it really was a great outlet for me. But also because, for the first time that I have ever witnessed firsthand, my writing--and by further extension, my own story--actually made an impact on someone.
I may never become a writer full time. I will never write a novel that will win a great literary prize, but I can now see the value of writing for myself, of writing just for the therapy of it. Just like the students in the movie I watched for my last Observation, Freedom Writers, I have discovered the sheer value of personal writing. Even more than that, I realize that sharing your story with someone else is just as important. There's a kind of security in knowing that someone else knows where you've been. Even if all of your audience hasn't had the same experiences, and doesn't know what you're talking about, it's helpful to have people reading your work who can relate to you simply through your words. When you make eye contact with the girl who is crying because she hasn't been there, but through your writing she felt the emotion of which you were speaking, that's when you know your writing was successful. That's what this piece did for me, more than anything else. It let me believe, if only temporarily, that I can write successfully, that I can write interesting, creative, powerful stuff. This memoir is far from perfect, I wouldn't even call it excellent. But it's the first piece of writing I have ever written (aside from academic essays) of which I can call myself truly proud.